MRI or MR (cry)

On Wednesday I went in for my MRI. This is the first step in determining if my cancer is anywhere other than where it's been detected already by my mammo, ultrasound and biopsy. It's not a scary appointment unless you are an emotional wreck (which coincidentally I am!)

I got to SCCA (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) at 11:15 - right on time. I've noticed at SCCA, they are pretty unlike normal doctors offices. They are the most efficient bunch of people ever. No waiting around wondering when they are going to call you, they are ON IT! So, I get in there, get my ID bracelet, fill out some papers, get called back immediately to change clothes in their little changing/locker area.

Then I go into a room with 3 dividers and a couple of nice nurses. Met 2 of them and absolutely have no idea what their names were because I was starting down the path of freaking out. And it's just basically a waiting room with cookies and juice. Holy crap! Get it together lady!

So, turns out, I get an IV put in for this, news to me. Apparently more for me to get nervous about. IV in with no prob - pheww. Chat with nurse, then sit and wait and try not to shake from nervousness. Then spend 5-10 minutes trying not to cry. WHAT? I know, grow up!  And this is not even close to a procedure that would require crying, this thing is all about just laying there. So, even though I knew that much, I was still hard pressed not to cry. After a couple of "buck-up self talks", I was ok. 

Then I got called into the MRI room. They asked me first what kind of music I wanted. I wasn't prepared, so I said whatever you have on is fine. So they gave me ear plugs because the MRI machine is going to be loud. Then I took off my shoes and hopped up on this contraption. And while you can't get a good idea from the picture, you can guess immediately where your boobs go on this thing. It basically looks like 2 giant cup holders for your "thirsty-two ouncer" or "supertanker" at 7 eleven. So, up I go, tit's in the holders, arms out like superman, headphones on, lame new age country music playing, panic button in hand and a few instructions to NOT MOVE for the next 30-40 minutes, and we're off. 

This is the contraption, and that's what I was doing. Good times. (ps, no that's not me!!)

It's pretty noisy - while it takes rapid fire images, bam bam bam bam bam - which I think are sort of like a bunch of cross cuts of your body in a bunch of directions. There are intervals of 1 or 2 or 5 minutes or so, and the tech person checks on me after each time, and gives me ideas of what's next and if it's going to be louder or shaky or hot. About halfway through they give me an injection in the IV that is some sort of thing that makes it easier for them to see my insides. It feels a little tingly at first, but overall not bad at all.

Then it's over. I get off the deal, go back into the nurses area, sit for 15 minutes to make sure I don't have any reaction to the injection, and then I get dressed and get out of there. All in a days doctor visit. 

I'm pretty sure that every "new" thing I have to do in the coming weeks will be scary, because I'm just not used to being in a hospital or doctors office - oh, and plus when someone says "you have cancer" - it really is fucking scary - and even if it's just the lightest version of cancer - it's still SUPER FUCKING SCARY. And that's enough about cancer for today.

We're going with friends up to the Teanaway this weekend, so expecting to get outside in the air for some snowshoeing our hiking - and will try to freaking relax. This god-damn cancer thing goes everywhere with me - it's exhausting. 

Have a good weekend!

Must all Blog Posts be Pleasing?

I read a lot of blogs. In fact, I really love reading blogs about furniture, fashion, DIY, lifestyle, interior design, travel and pretty much everything that is awesome and inspiring about what people are doing with their creative energy. 

I also notice that people are sharing the news of their lives between these posts about lipstick, or lamps or the lastest whatever. Most of the news is about babies. Seems like most bloggers are in the age of "baby on the way!" Fantastic, and so excited for all these people (who I don't know personally) who are having great things happen.

Does anyone post when the NOT GREAT THINGS happen? I can only point to one blog called - An Inch of Gray where I can recall reading  the most heartbreaking post (a couple of years ago). I had just gotten back from an east coast vacation as a storm was blowing up the coastal areas along the Carolina's and up toward Block Island where we were. I came across this blog post through another blog I was following, and here on the pages were the horrifying and super sad story of a blogger who had just lost her 12 year old boy in a drowning in a swollen creek near their house, during that same storm that I flew out of. It was so sad, and it was the first thing I'd ever read on this woman's blog, so probably not the time to get on board. I felt a lot like I was evesdropping on her tragedy, but then I thought she could probably use LOTS of support from all kinds of people right now, including people she didn't even know. I was cheering for her and wishing her well even if she didn't know it, and maybe that was helping her. I hope so.

What I'm getting at is this; I was planning to publish a blog full of ONLY great things, big and small that had to do with creative projects, DIY projects, farming, city life, etc... I didn't have anything planned that was going to make me wonder if it was appropriate for posting..... but then ALL OF A SUDDEN things changed big time for me and if I don't post this, then I'm a big fraud - one of those life-fakers. One of those people that pretend and edit too much on Facebook so that everyone thinks things are great for them all the time and they also only post pictures where they look the best and have no double chin. But for me, people, from here on out, you're getting the good, the bad and the ugly. And in some posts, all of them at once.

Here's the whopper - Last week, when my postings were non-existent, it was because I got some bad news and my hands were too clammy to type. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Seriously. I know. Shocking. Here's how it went down. I think it was about 7 months ago when I posted that I'd had a funny mammogram and I had to get get another one and an ultrasound. That confirmed I was clean. So off I went, happy to be free and clear. Well, just a few weeks ago, I was in the shower and I found a lump, right breast, off to the right side at around 10 o'clock on the book dial if your nipple were the middle. So, I watched it for a week, and it didn't really go away, so I called my doctor and she made me see the Breast Specialist at the UW Womens Clinic. She confirmed that I had a lump (or mass, as she said) and marched me over to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance - which is where they do all follow up stuff. When I got there I had a mammogram (which hurts by the way when you have a "mass" in there), then an ultrasound - where they almost made me feel better because they thought it was most likely a cyst or a fibroid tumor. But, to be safe they wanted to do a biopsy, because I am 50, and also because my Mom has had breast cancer. So, good to be safe. I had the biopsy - and waited patiently (or not patiently) for the results. That was last week on Monday, and I got called back with the news on Wednesday am. AND NOT THE NEWS I WAS HOPING FOR. 

I can't really explain what it feels like, this limbo I'm in from hearing the news to understanding how bad or not bad it is, and knowing how to fix it. My next appointment is March 28th, and at that time I will meet my "team" which includes a surgeon and some others. I will also have an MRI and that will tell us more about whether the cancer is just in the one spot (which they say is the normal kind in the normal place - and I think I'm supposed to feel better about that - and I sort of do!) Until then, I just wait and I think adjust to the news. 

So, in the next however long, there might be some posts related to the idea that I actually have cancer. Again - so weird. I'm not at all sick, I've never been sick, I eat right, exercise, and take really good care of myself - and suddenly at age 50, never ever having been sick ever, I am a person that has breast cancer. The news alone is enough to make me puke and shit my pants - often. Oh, and I've been crying a little bit. I think that's probably normal.

I am not going to sugar coat it people, but I'm also not planning to post any of those artistic photos of the reality of surgery, etc. Especially because I'm not quite ready for that yet. Baby steps! Anyway, sorry for the downer news, but if my blog is going to be an authentic representation of what's going on around here, I thought you should know, right now things are a little sketchy! I'll keep you posted on future events, but I might leave out the puking and shitting my pants.

Oh, and ps. Cancer can fuck right off. :)

Tomorrow I promise ordinary stuff, like planting vegetables and doing crafts.

Craigslist has some good stuff right now!

I haven't been trolling Craigslist in a couple weeks - but today I found a few great nuggets. Check these out!

$65 each or 4 for $200
Great deal on these cool modern chairs.

Etagere- $295
Very cool!

Mid-century slipper chairs with a little bit of a Chinese feel.
$450 for the pair. I love these.

Yep, sucker for nesting tables, these are $45 bucks. Awesome.

Love this green velvet head/footboard set. I think I would recover it in another fabric,
but it's pretty cool as is at only $175.

And this is my favorite. I thought I finally found the cabinet for the dining area in the apartment - totally perfect
except that my wall to wall space is only 65", and this says it's 65" - which makes me worry that I would
have to totally WEDGE it into the nook and that might look bad. I'm remeasuring when I get home.
But it's a great cabinet and it's only $125.

Conde Nast Traveler finally found out what we've known for years!

Conde Nast Traveler featured this little article about the Autogrills today in their email daily! Yes, you are correct, it's the gas station! All across Italy along the Autostrada routes are Autogrills - where you can gas up your car for a small fortune and get the best Italian food, espresso, chocolates, whatever. It's awesome. And it aint no crappy 7 Eleven or speedy mart bs either, it's really really good. Next time you're soaking up the good life in Italy - check out the Autogrill for a panini! Woop woop.

BLOOMBERG/GETTY IMAGES

Three Great International Chain Restaurants You'll Actually Want to Eat At

Chain restaurants often get a bad reputation—think McDonald's, Burger King, and Applebee's. But venture outside the United States, and you'll find a number of surprisingly good chain restaurants that, well, actually serve food. Good food. Here are our favorites:

AUTOGRILLS, on the Autostrada, is an Italian rest stop that puts American versions to shame with its superb menu (lasagne alla ligure, mozzarella di bufala, and chocolates sourced from some of the country’s top producers) and a sleek design that features a skybridge overlooking speeding Fiats and Ferraris below.

Most chains don’t resemble a Restoration Hardware showroom—except forAUBAINE, which is found throughout London. But beyond the washed-oak tables, plank floors, and soft lighting is its solid French-inspired fare: fried duck egg, roast monkfish, moules marinière with a side of frites, bien sûr.

Sydneysiders—and our associate web editor Krisanne Fordham—swear by the Portuguese-inspired OPORTO and its marinated rotisserie chicken. Also worth it: the Otropo Burger, grilled chicken topped with pineapple, bacon, cheese, and Oporto’s special creamy mayo sauce (might not sound appetizing, but it'll blow your mind).

Oh, sigh.....

You know how sometimes you really want this:

Prada boots

but instead you get this:

Honda Rancher

That's how it went down around our house in the past few weeks! Not that I'm not thrilled to have this farm helper, it's just that I can't wear it with cute jeans or skirts and feel good about myself. Damn you Honda Rancher, damn you!

Oh, and before you start thinking that we got this thing for "fun" - it's really for work around the property. It will pull the huge field mower attachment:

Field mower attachment - also more expensive than the Prada boots!

And, it will also get up our access road and will haul logs and dirt and make it easier for us to get chores done. Which means that we will get to play more golf in the summer, and someday I will be asked to join the Womens Sr. Tour and get a bunch of money in endorsements and ultimately be able to afford the Prada boots. 

So I guess things will all work out. In the mean time, don't tell anyone we got a 4 wheeler - it's kind of embarrassing. 

Spa Critique

For Christmas, Kit got me a really nice spa membership to Gene Juarez downtown. It’s a three month “passport” to spa services – you get one a month for 3 months and you get to choose if you want a massage or a mani/pedi or whatever.

He thought it was a good way to check out the spa and decide if it’s a good downtown option for us on a regular basis. So far I’ve done 2 months and have one treatment to go – but I thought I would share my thoughts so far.

Gene Juarez means well, but I think they have gotten “tired”. They have turned into sort of the mass market spa/salon, and while they offer nice services and are well located, I think they are phoning it in on the customer service and maintenance of their facilities.

First of all, the entrance to the salon on Pine is pretty less than average. There is a little retail storefront for product and usually a salesperson there that leads you to the elevator in the back that takes you up to floor 4 where the salon and spa services are. All fine except it just looks a little bit dirty and shabby. The gal or guy working there is nice, but sometimes a little “insincere”. Last time I was there, a not so well groomed tranny was working the storefront. She/he was perfectly nice, but looked as if she/he were well past a few grooming appointments herself. Hair and make-up ok, but the lowcut top with ½ inch chest hair grow-up was a little unsightly. Don’t get me wrong – I really enjoy the beautifully well groomed tranny’s around town, working the MAC counters at Nordstrom, doing their thing. They are spectacular and their make-up is AWESOME – but c’mon, you can’t show up for work looking like you’ve been up for 2 nights straight with your “look” all messed up.

Next – 4^th floor check in people –AWESOME! Super nice, so really pleased at how well the front line is taking care of customers –

Nail treatment – my first Mani/Pedi was really good. It was really the best manicure I’ve even gotten. It lasted through 2 airports, 4 rounds of golf and a week at the beach in Maui without a single chip. Really good, and so was the pedi. I would definitely go back for that. Great job from Julie – but she may have told me TMI about her entire life….. just a little. Sigh…Still, good job.

Massage- Here’s where we get back to the less that great treatment. Get in the spa area, they warn me that the normal “foot bath” attendant wasn’t there today, so I would get my foot bath from my massage lady. That’s fine. I was led into the changing room, given a locker and told to change and go back out to the cozy little waiting room area. I could barely fit my coat, bag, shoes into the super little tiny locker, so that was irritating. Then, I pull out the robe, and the lining is sort of tattered and torn which is also irritating. Doesn’t someone do quality control and cull out the older damaged robes after they come back from the laundry? In my case, apparently not. I was kind of discouraged by that. Also, I think my robe was a small, so I felt like a medium would have been better and was worried it was going to fly open during my little foot bath. So, also a bit uncomfortable when it should have been nothing but cozy. Then, my massage gal – she was really nice, but why do they make you fill out the form and go over with you what kind of massage and pressure you prefer – and then THEY DON’T DO IT. It was one of the weakest massages ever. I don’t know if this lady was just tired or it was the best she could do, but it was so light. I had told her I liked FIRM pressure, ha. She didn’t talk to that was nice, and the room was nice and warm and all that, but I won’t go to her again.

I have one more treatment in March – I think I’ll arrange another massage just to try another person and see if I get a better robe, etc. But, if it’s not good – I think I’m done with Gene Juarez.

There is another spa downtown called Ummelina that I used to go to – but over the years it had gotten a little run down too. I heard recently that it’s improved again, so I think I’ll try it too.

In the end, I only have a few rules:

1. Walking distance from our apartment.

2. A robe with no holes in it.

3. A tranny greeter with nice make-up and no chest-hair grow-out.

Is that too much to ask, people?

Yes

no

Final final on the pillow

Remember the curtains I finished last week. Well, the last thing I was going to do, but didn't have time to finish and show you was the final final on the pillow. I sewed Kit's childhood summer camp pennant to the front of it. I have a bunch of these pennants from his boarding school and summer camp days and they have been sitting around in boxes for years. I thought they would be really cute and homey on pillows at the farm.

I kind of LOVE how this turned out. More to come!