For when my hair gets longer

So, there is no getting around the fact that I'm going to have to have some short hair for a while until I get long hair again. The last time I had short hair was around the time of this pic:

I'm the little gal in the shortest hair. Which is longer than my current hair. Ugh.

I had this idea that I would be able to wear my wig until my hair was miraculously long enough to skip the whole short hair stage. But I'm so sick of that thing that I will probably burn the wig as soon as I possibly can. Not that it's not great - it is, it's just freaking HOT and not my own hair, so this time of year it is just the worst and I can't wait to be done with it.

My hair has started to grow back early - before I'm done with chemo, so I have a "tiny head start" (get it), and it's currently about 5/8" long - not that I've measured it, but ok, yes, I've measured it. Oh, and.... to be clear, it's WHITE or mostly white. Look, when you go from coloring your hair for years, to shaving your head off to prepare for a wig, you get a good hard look at the true salt and pepper-ness of it all. And let me tell you, there's a lot more salt than pepper. And interestingly, as it's coming back in, the white seems to come in first, and now the black is showing up too, but it doesn't stand much of a chance - lots more white in there.

Which brings me to the point of this post - what am I going to do with this hair???? - when it's long enough to make into something. And that makes me laugh too - because the styles you are about to see below are all LONG compared to my current hair. That's funny!! hahahahahahhahhahaaaaaa- I think these are pretty cute though and are also white - what do you think? They of course all look like models - which I am not - but I will admit that I have an awesome looking head - compared to others (see above pic - i know - awesome!!!)

Pretty cute look - I still need about an inch or so more for this I think.

2 inches from now? Maybe?

Whoa - a little edgy - we'll see.

Her s/p is quite awesome - maybe I'll shoot for this when it's a lot longer.

This is closest to what it will look like in another 1/2 inch. If I looked like her
I would think "SWEET" - I'm so hot! 

Looking at these pics reminds me that currently I'm still without much in the way of eyebrows or lashes. I'm starting to see the beginnings of eyebrows again, but the eyelashes are a little slower on the comeback. Hurry, you little bastards!!!!!

All short hair pics posted here are from Pinterest!

Too lame to post!

Hey - sorry! There were a few weeks there where I was just too lame to post anything - I just couldn't lift my heavy heavy arms up to the keyboard. Here's a quick update on the (say in whisper) .......cancer.

I just finished 8 weeks of A/C chemo. It sucked. There really isn't a nicer way to put it. You go into chemo feeling pretty good, and come out of there like someone punched you in the face with a large bag of drugs. So, for the last 8 weeks I've been a drugged up mess - I tried sleeping through most of it. That particular chemo round was every other week, so 4 infusions over 8 weeks. The first week after chemo was the worst, just groggy, druggy, flulike - then it got better in the second week, and by the end of the second week, just when you are feeling almost normal - it's time for the next sucker punch.

I had a lot of weirdo side effects - but luckily not all at the same time. I had mouth sores, I had headaches, I had tingling, numbness on my nose and skin, super dry inside of my nose, upset stomach, nausea, dry skin, no tastebuds.... name it, I had it.... but.... more than anything else I was so tired I could barely pick my arms up. Knuckle dragger for sure. 

BUT WHOHOOOOOOOOO - THAT'S OVER! 

Now I'm onto the second phase of chemo, which is a 12 week course (every Wednesday) of Taxol, along with Herceptin and Perjeta (every third Wednesday). This week I had another PET scan and MRI and MUGA heart scan - which are all tests they did at the start of this ordeal. These were updates to check progress. I don't expect to get the results myself, I think those things go directly to my doctor, and part of that testing that I get is extra because I'm part of a research study - so... test test test, and then proceed. Since Wednesday was the "new" chemo, and because some people have pretty serious allergic reactions to Taxol, I was watched pretty carefully during the first part of my infusion. Those nurses at SCCA are so great though - it went really well. I didn't have any reaction at all. It was an extra long day because on the first appointment you get all three drugs and they administer them more slowly in the beginning to make sure you can tolerate them. Next time it won't take as long. I was there from noon to almost 6:45pm. the next time the Herceptin and Perjeta will take about an hour less. And I'm not complaining because I FEEL GREAT! 

Here it is two days later - and I still feel almost normal! So, now I have so much less dread of the next 12 weeks and can start thinking about some other things, like golf, projects, getting out of bed.... you know, normal stuff.

Other details: Hair still gone, but fingernails look pretty good. Red blood count a little low, but whites are good. We had big red steak last night and a pile of spinach - should fix that right up. My eyebrows are starting to look a little sparse - alas. And, the lower lashes, especially on one side, well...... they are losing the battle. I think I have a total of about 2 lashes left on the bottom outer edge. Pathetic. But, I did buy some fakeys, little individuals for the bottom and some full ones for the top. I haven't used them yet.... I'll let you know how that goes. At this point, because I finally feel good, I almost don't care. Well, that's a lie. I do care. Just not that much.

Anyway, there it is - and because things seem to be going well, I should be back to posting more often and complaining about all the usual subjects. 

Today's complaint: Summer is just starting, I don't want to discuss the fall, or fall fashion. Can we please just enjoy summer! 

MRI or MR (cry)

On Wednesday I went in for my MRI. This is the first step in determining if my cancer is anywhere other than where it's been detected already by my mammo, ultrasound and biopsy. It's not a scary appointment unless you are an emotional wreck (which coincidentally I am!)

I got to SCCA (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) at 11:15 - right on time. I've noticed at SCCA, they are pretty unlike normal doctors offices. They are the most efficient bunch of people ever. No waiting around wondering when they are going to call you, they are ON IT! So, I get in there, get my ID bracelet, fill out some papers, get called back immediately to change clothes in their little changing/locker area.

Then I go into a room with 3 dividers and a couple of nice nurses. Met 2 of them and absolutely have no idea what their names were because I was starting down the path of freaking out. And it's just basically a waiting room with cookies and juice. Holy crap! Get it together lady!

So, turns out, I get an IV put in for this, news to me. Apparently more for me to get nervous about. IV in with no prob - pheww. Chat with nurse, then sit and wait and try not to shake from nervousness. Then spend 5-10 minutes trying not to cry. WHAT? I know, grow up!  And this is not even close to a procedure that would require crying, this thing is all about just laying there. So, even though I knew that much, I was still hard pressed not to cry. After a couple of "buck-up self talks", I was ok. 

Then I got called into the MRI room. They asked me first what kind of music I wanted. I wasn't prepared, so I said whatever you have on is fine. So they gave me ear plugs because the MRI machine is going to be loud. Then I took off my shoes and hopped up on this contraption. And while you can't get a good idea from the picture, you can guess immediately where your boobs go on this thing. It basically looks like 2 giant cup holders for your "thirsty-two ouncer" or "supertanker" at 7 eleven. So, up I go, tit's in the holders, arms out like superman, headphones on, lame new age country music playing, panic button in hand and a few instructions to NOT MOVE for the next 30-40 minutes, and we're off. 

This is the contraption, and that's what I was doing. Good times. (ps, no that's not me!!)

It's pretty noisy - while it takes rapid fire images, bam bam bam bam bam - which I think are sort of like a bunch of cross cuts of your body in a bunch of directions. There are intervals of 1 or 2 or 5 minutes or so, and the tech person checks on me after each time, and gives me ideas of what's next and if it's going to be louder or shaky or hot. About halfway through they give me an injection in the IV that is some sort of thing that makes it easier for them to see my insides. It feels a little tingly at first, but overall not bad at all.

Then it's over. I get off the deal, go back into the nurses area, sit for 15 minutes to make sure I don't have any reaction to the injection, and then I get dressed and get out of there. All in a days doctor visit. 

I'm pretty sure that every "new" thing I have to do in the coming weeks will be scary, because I'm just not used to being in a hospital or doctors office - oh, and plus when someone says "you have cancer" - it really is fucking scary - and even if it's just the lightest version of cancer - it's still SUPER FUCKING SCARY. And that's enough about cancer for today.

We're going with friends up to the Teanaway this weekend, so expecting to get outside in the air for some snowshoeing our hiking - and will try to freaking relax. This god-damn cancer thing goes everywhere with me - it's exhausting. 

Have a good weekend!