The importance of flashlights

Getting through cancer - easy.
Getting through the installation of a couple of overhead lights - well, it was touch and go for a while.

Joking! We're fine.

These two completely bad photo's show Kit trying to get the distance from the ceiling correct on our new lights. So I'm running around looking from afar, and taking pics, so he could see too...... but it was dark because c'mon, let's not electrocute the guy... and the flashlight was way too bright, hence the shitty photos.... and displeased husband. But in the end, turned out great.

Will post final photos as soon as the lightbulbs arrive.

No light, rickety ladder... tired arm... hurry up!!!!!
Looks good!

No, seriously, HURRY UP!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today my beautiful Mom is 75. Love her!

Age 8 I think

College pic with my Dad

This summer on our cruise

10 days til full PANIC

So, Thanksgiving is coming! Are you ready?

I'm here to help you with one really really great reminder - it's about how to cut the bird once you get it out of the oven or off the smoker. 

More often than not, I've witnessed the complete destruction of beauty when some novice starts sawing away at the turkey with no skills and a bad knife, so here's how to stop the madness before someone in your family wrecks the Holiday.

Martha Stewart photograph

As a public service: Get to www.marthastewart.com immediately and download the instructions for HOW TO CARVE A TURKEY. It's going to keep you sane - trust me.

You're welcome!

Road Rage

This dipshit hit and ran my car this morning on the way to work. He came blazing into my lane without seeing me, without using a blinker and without a brain! I layed on the horn, hit the brakes, and and....and....and......boom, he almost missed me, but sigh, the back end of his big stupid truck hit the front end of my pretty pretty car.

I had to then speed up to follow him, thinking that he would pull over to the side of the road to exchange info. Nope. He turned off the road down a side street. So, I thought, well maybe he wants to get off the road to exchange info. Nope. He's totally trying to dodge me. I followed him for a while, honking and gesturing for him to pull over. He gave me the big NO, the hand and possibly the finger and kept driving, ending up back on the road we originally turned off. Then I gave up because what if he was a big aggressive douchebag who might punch me or pull out a gun or who knows what.....obviously he had no interest in exchanging info or talking to me at all. Probably uninsured - why else would he act like that. Creep.

So I got out my phone and got the pic of his license plate and his truck. What a dick! I'm pretty sure karma is coming for him.

I'm now waiting for the insurance company to come see what the damage looks like and if they require it, I will fill out a police report.

Happy Wednesday!

Another delightful little Seattle drinking spot

Last night I met my friend Kristie for a little dinner at Le Caviste! It's at 1919 7th Avenue, right up the street from where I live in downtown Seattle.  Here is what their website says:

Le Caviste is a bistrot-à-vins, a wine-bar, located in downtown Seattle offering a broad selection of wines from France, along with wine-based apéritifs. It is a warm and inviting refuge in the bustling heart of the city, where wines are chosen with care and priced to drink every day, accompanied by charcuterie, AOC fromages, and a few specialty plates from its tiny kitchen 

Le Caviste also offers wines to carry out & drink at home 

The wines are selected to faithfully represent their regional character and reflect the good practices of their makers. Whenever possible we prefer to source wines produced using monitored organic methods and sustainable farming techniques.

And here is what the Stranger says:Le Caviste is Paris in the Spring

This is the kind of neighborhood wine bar that I love, and the article in the Stranger pretty much says it all. It's just a cozy little spot with a great wine and food menu, simple, french, not overly done. And the decor is sparse, lots of wine boxes around, perfect for drinking wine and having a good catch up! Love this place - so glad it's nearby, can't wait to take Kit over there. The photo's below are from the internet - I didn't take a single one so no credit to me. If you haven't stopped in here - get over there asap! 

interior

Photo credit: The Stranger
David Butler - we met him last night - very nice fellow!

We ate this - best thing ever - mushrooms, egg, bread crumbs! Yum!
Photo from Bin Notes.

We ate this pate and meat extravaganza too - excellent! Photo from Yelp.

The rainy season

This morning the commute was the rainiest ever. REALLY! In almost 18 years of commuting - it was raining harder than my windshield wipers could keep up. It was AWFUL. But.... I'm at work now and everything is A-ok! Just a little weather. 

I took a couple of pics (while I was stopped at a light people - no, not while I was driving ...... I'm not crazy!!!!) Hard to see just how bad it was by these photos - trust me - it's ugly out there. Have a nice day. Be careful!

Reconstruction/Remodel

Do normal bloggers write posts when they get boob jobs? Well, this one is! After the year I've had, let's just keep the full disclosure going, shall we. After my lumpectomy I was scheduled for reconstruction surgery - because, as my doctor described it, nobody want's to look like a sharkbite was taken out of their boob. Right you are, sir. 

October 22nd was my surgery date. I was sort of worried that the surgery team would look at my post lumpectomy boob and say "ah, you look fine - we're cancelling the surgery!", but my doctor reassured me that while my right boob might look ok now, in about 6 months swelling and liquid filling the void would dissipate and I would be left with a big indent, so surgery was still on and I would be happy about it later. Great. 

But that's not even the best news - the best news is that in reconstructing the left breast to match now with the right post lumpectomy breast - I was getting an overall breast reduction at the same time. SO EXCITED - yet scared at the same time. More surgery, more anesthesia, more anxiety....

Fast forward to today. Surgery went beautifully, I'm healing very well, everything looks great despite dressing for Halloween as "FRANKENBOOBIES", I'm all good and walking around with smaller and lighter boobs - so nice. I had my post-op follow up yesterday with Dr. Said. Now I'm on the hurry up and heal process, and doing everything I can to encourage it because I start the last step of my cancer journey (radiation) in a month or so. Because radiation is sort of an ass-kicker for my good cells, I really need to get as healthy as I can before we start. I'll do radiation every week day for 6 1/2 weeks - and then finally we will be done with almost everything. I don't know if I mentioned this in past posts, but people who get a lumpectomy and then don't follow it with radiation have a 30-40% chance of cancer reccurrance in the first three years. Even people with a "complete response" to treatment. People who do get the radiation after lumpectomy have about a 3% reccurrance rate - I like the sound of that much better. So I'll keep you posted on how that goes, should be fairly uneventful, the only bad part is that it keeps us home in Seattle over the Holidays, we won't even be able to be at the farm since I'll need to be close to SCCA the whole time. 

On another note - I'm having anxiety about my hair. I really really want my old hair back, not this super short mostly white salt and pepper version. Despite being super grateful that I'm healthy, I have this lingering hair thing that makes me feel bad. I guess I would feel ok to either have super short hair in my normal color, or my old length with s/p hair, but introducing both at the same time is a little harsh. I feel like it might make me look unusually OLD or bad. I decided that I need to see my hair gal and get her thoughts on what to do. I'm considering coloring it back toward what it was, then over time while it grows I can gradually introduce more and more of the "salty" color. The "not as shocking" approach seems a little easier. Kit has been so nice that I can't get a read on what he really really thinks, and we all know that friends always want to be nice and say "oh, I really like it" but what they really mean is " it's fine for you but I would NEVER do that to my hair!"  I need a neutral opinion - I'm going to see my hair gal on Friday at 4. And, she's going to cut my wig too - just to give me something new for the next month or so before I just give it up and go short. Does any of this make sense? I know, these are the weirdest things to be talking about - but right now it's my life - ugh!

I promise to talk about how excited I am for Thanksgiving and Christmas in my next post. Whopeee.

Oh, ps.... here is a shout out to my reconstruction doctor, Dr. Said at SCCA/UW Medical Center. He's awesome, and don't you think it's kind of amusing that in a year of cancer dealings, the only male doctor I've seen happens to be the one that is building my new boobs. Makes me chuckle. hee hee. But, super pleased with his approach and he's an excellent doctor and has made us feel really comfortable about everything from the first time we met him. He's given me some of the best information about what will happen before/during and after radiation and we feel very lucky to have had him on our team. (By we I mean Kit and me, not my boobs and me!!!)

Dr. Hakim Said

Bench seat

I must be feeling better because I finally crossed a long overdue project off the list. Our bench seat by the door at the farm was about to fall completely apart. Look at this thing. Hideous. Whoever covered it with this fabric in the first place made a big mistake in using some super flimsy cotton - they should have used an upholstery fabric. It was pretty scraggly and ugly - really needed a make-over.

I found this fabric at Joann's. Pretty cute for right off the rack. And it was on sale. I measured the foam pad on the seat and bought the fabric and then got some extra at even more discount because it was the end of the bolt.

Exhibit A - the scraggly old cover

The fabric for the new cover - love it!

Here it is splayed out on the dining room table.

 Note: I didn't use a pattern - I just made it up - which is my usual way - because I just think "what the hell - I'll figure it out". When you do projects this way, be sure to think through it all the way. Don't just start cutting - you'll screw it up for sure. I measured several times. I've learned something about myself over the years. It is SUPER easy to measure wrong. Even when you think you've measured several times already - measure everything again. Then start cutting pieces. And you'll find that the measuring and cutting is not necessarily the fun part. It takes forever and is boring.... so so boring. But then you can get on with the sewing....

Old things sometimes break.

 But then this happened. The sewing machine crapped out. I tried not to panic. The motor was working but the wheel wasn't spinning which seemed to be a belt problem - and hmmm, when was the last time I changed the belt. Uh, never. So it seemed reasonable that the belt being more than 30 years old could probably use a change. I raced down to the Joann's again, but alas... they don't sell parts for machines from prehistoric times. What? You modern computer techy project runway seamstresses - bite me.... I had to order a belt online - so I got 2. Project on hold - one week delay. Got back to the farm this weekend with new belt (and a spare) in hand. Put everything back together and .............nuthin'. No worky. DON'T PANIC. DON'T PANIC..... oh, think through this. Motor works, belt moves turny thing - turny thing moves belt, but something else is wrong. I got out the flashlight and looked through everything like I thought an old sewing machine repair guy would do. And lo and behold, deep in the dark backside of the turny thing that the belt attaches to...there was a screw loose. Teeny tiny - requiring a super teen tiny screwdriver. Couple of turns later, and we are back in business. Putting that on the resume for sure. Sewing machine repair, check!

Decided velcro was the correct closure for the long backside.

I decided to sew the back side panel first and that velcro was a better solution than a zipper because the zipper would have been 8 feet long - that's too much. So velcro it was, and I found the iron-on stuff - which worked great. So i hemmed an edge, added the velcro, attached the other side to another piece, connected them as if they were one piece of fabric and got on with the sewing. 

Iron-on velcro works great.

Other piece that the velcro opposite will attach to

Both pieces of fabric with vecro holding them together

Sewing top to side to bottom to side - then ends.

 Once the whole business was sewn together, I just unvelcro'd the back side, turned the whole thing inside out and shoved the foam padding inside and worked the fabric around it so that it fit nicely and lined up correctly. Then i reattached the velcro and called it done. It was a lot like alligator wrestling. I was sweating by the end of it.

Final product

So, here it is in it's final resting place. I have enough fabric left to make a pillow or two which might be a nice add to the area. Hopefully this heavy fabric will last longer than the other stuff - plus, a darker background will work much better to hide dirt. I thought it turned out pretty well, and just in time for Thanksgiving. Done and done. 

Parenting is exhausting

Kit and I spent Friday afternoon with this little whirling dervish. I would have more pictures to show but the kid never stopped moving and therefore every photo was a blurry mess. We checked out MOHAI (Museum of History and Industry) at their new South Lake Union space - it was fabulous. Actually, we didn't see all of it because certain little people gotta keep moving, man - so we let her lead. It was her day. We had agreed for her birthday present that we would have a date with her and she got to choose what she wanted to do and where she wanted to eat. 

After MOHAI, we went to her favorite restaurant Burgermaster - yes, seriously. Her favorite. Cheeseburger - no bun, and a chocolate shake. She couldn't have been happier.

After dinner we hung out at home for a while and did some drawings and used our "imaginations" and then it was time to take her home. 

Then fell into bed EXHAUSTED. Not kidding - EXHAUSTED. I don't know how you parents do it. This is one kid, and she's good. No fussing, whining or bad behavior. She's fun to have around, she likes to chat and tell stories and is quite easy for an 8 year old - but they never ever ever stop moving and talking - so it's pretty tiring. But super fun. Having nieces and nephews is great - and partly because you can give them back when you're beat.

Field Trip

Photo credit: The Stranger

Have you been here yet? Intermezzo Carmine is a little bar/restaurant at 409 First Ave S. in Seattle. It's owned and operated by the same family that owns Il Terrazzo Carmine next door and it is SUPER CUTE. I found this review in Seattle Magazine which pretty much reflects our experience - you should definitely go there asap. I haven't yet figured out who did the interior design, but I'm in love with banquette that runs the entire length of the restaurant - the tufting and the color of the linen are especially fabulous, and the wood accents all have sort of a gray/unfinished look - I love it. Whoever you are who designed this little slice of heaven - you're awesome!!!!! There are some lounge-y type chairs too if you stumble in after shopping and need to take a load off and have a drink. Which I will! There are 2 and 4 top tables and bar seating if you want to eat and drink like regular people. It's super super charming, and the waiters were super nice too. Shout out to Joe - he was a lot of fun. Oh, I should mention also my love for the waitstaff's aprons. Leather, totally cool, would like to make a sofa out of their aprons. Cozy.

Ok, let's chat about the food. I think they are still ironing things out a bit. Last night they said they were coming out with a new menu today, and they were working on expanding the wine list too. The food selections are fine, but the menu didn't seem quite "small plates to share" enough for what we wanted and it seemed like some things were missing. We didn't see a single green vegetable on the menu, so we asked for a salad. They whipped up an insalata mista for us which was great - but we had to ask for it. The main course foods were good, but we were hoping for a better selection of small plates over the selection of entrees. But that's ok, I'm sure they will get there with more feedback from diners. And it certainly isn't going to keep me from going back.

In fact, we would totally go back, if for no other reason than the sweet vibe of the place. Excellent hang out. 

Worst to Best

I got some really good news!

But first I'll tell you about my very nervous completely uncomfortable date for my lumpectomy following the 5 months of chemotherapy I just went through. Let me just say this right away - every single day following the very bad day that I was told I had breast cancer has been a big huge learning experience and has gone really really well. I know that doesn't happen for everyone so I'm super grateful that my experience was what it was rather than what it could have been. Not to say that there weren't days that completely sucked  - but looking back, I'm thankful for a lot lot lot of things. Here are a few:

1. I live in the USA, and more specifically, Seattle, Washington - a place where the medical community is very very progressive.

2. I was treated at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. That's huge. SCCA is part of a collective that includes Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, Children's Hospital and UW Medical Center (a teaching hospital) - and altogether have first rate cancer care and cancer research.

and 

3. I was assigned (did not choose, but was miraculously assigned) these oncologists who I am so grateful for: 

Dr. Julie Gralow - 


Dr. Kristine Calhoun

As I mentioned in past posts, I was given a diagnosis of HER2 Positive breast cancer - which is sort of scary, but these women had a plan and the appropriate treatment in place and we got down to business and did the work.

One part of my chemotherapy included the drug Perjeta - which if you've watched the news lately - has been extraordinary! While my HER2 cancer hadn't had a chance to get anywhere near terminal, I was given Perjeta along with Herceptin as part of my treatment - and I responded very well.

After my chemo was done, I was scheduled for surgery. From the outset, the surgery was planned to be (hopefully) a lumpectomy but it depended on how well I responded to the treatment. By the time I met with Dr. Calhoun we knew the chemo had gone well, and confirmed that a lumpectomy was the agreed protocol - which gave me a lot of relief because the idea of a mastectomy seems a little bit (or a lot) overwhelming. Surgery was planned for September 25th. 

My history of surgery in life included getting my tonsils out 20 years ago, so based on that - you know - I was afraid  - which seemed pretty normal since in the past 6 months I've been afraid of about everything that's come up for me that has been new. So, on September 25th, no different, afraid but not stopping now.

I had to get a wire localization first - followed by what they call lymph mapping - neither of which anyone should really have done while awake, yet both are done with local numbing - so WIDE AWAKE and not that fun. It's best to just not look at anything they are doing because the first one involves needles and wires, and the second one again with the needles. These little procedures are necessary to make sure the surgeon can find where the "tumor" tissue is or was - so they mark the area with a wire. Then they shoot radioactive isotopes into your breast tissue to drain to the sentinal lymph node - so the surgeon can id which lymph node to take to make sure the cancer really really didnt go to the lymph nodes or beyond. Neither of these procedures hurt, they just freak you out if you think about them too much.

Surgery was right after that. Went perfectly. Lumpectomy done and done. Felt like I was in and out of there super fast, after waiting all morning to get it all going. Not that they weren't doing stuff behind the scenes getting ready, we just had to do a lot of sitting around waiting. In any case, we were relieved that it went so well, then we promptly forgot to stop at the pharmacy on the way out to get the pain meds (we're idiots) - so we had to drive back to the hospital for that. Turned out to be totally unnecessary though - really didn't have any pain at all. Stayed at home healing for a 5 days, then back to normal life stuff and continuing to heal properly. 

Here's where the GOOD NEWS comes in. Results of the surgery (pathology of the tissue) concluded that no cancer had every gotten to the lymph nodes. While they suspected that anyway and the biopsy early on indicated that, it was nice to get final reports that it was true. And......the best part.... the tissue where my lump-mass-tumor was showed no cancer at all. Meaning - I've had a "complete response" to treatment (docs words). So, 6 months ago I had cancer, but I don't have cancer anymore I'm happy to report. As Dr. Calhoun put it, I hit a home run. I'm very very thankful and fortunate that my treatment went so well. With my sort of breast cancer and the size of my tumor, it's not often that they see such results, so hot damn!!!

I still have to do the course of radiation to sweep through that area because it could always be possible that there is as little as one cell they can't detect that could go haywire. I'll do that happily. Everyone says if you've been through chemo - radiation is a breeze. 

My next step is reconstructive surgery on the 22nd of October (next Wednesday), followed by radiation starting around the first of December. That is the last "new" thing I will do. After that I just continue to get an infusion of herceptin every three weeks until end of next May, and then I will be completely finished with this business. Herceptin doesn't have any side effects so it's easy to tolerate. It's also not a "chemotherapy" but a "biologic."

Anyway, it's been a long year but I've had an outcome that has been really good. I have a lot of love in my heart for all the people at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, and along with the Oncologists above, I love love love these two gals below. Denise Bundow is the Nurse Practitioner that works with Dr. Gralow, and I've seen her all along and she's been so great. 

Denise Bundow

And this gal below, Kay Tilton was the nurse assigned to me on day one. She is a dolly - I love her too. She helped me through all the chemo and gave me all the good warnings about side effects and what was coming next. 

Kay Tilton

The biggest thing is this. I was scared shitless the first time I walked into this building and now I love this place.It's weird to think how many times I drove by this building in all the years I've lived in Seattle and then in one day it turned into my home away from home. And it's good that I like this place, because fortunately for me, I'll be "watched" by these peeps for the next forever.....every 6 months for the next 3 years, and then on after that forever, and that's fine by me.

If you are reading this and you are a woman - please get an annual mammogram. I found my lump myself because of where it was - so it was easy to feel. But a mammogram would have found it too! Get one!! Every year!

The OJ Simpson of South Africa

Wow - Oscar Pistorius got away with murder. What in the hell is wrong with the world?

Here's hoping you rot in Hell crybaby

Ahhhh Balls - late again!

Well, it's just like me to be late to the trend and miss the whole thing. Here we are halfway through 2014, and right now I want cute clogs for fall. Hmmmm, seems like the cute clogs for fall happened in about 2010-2011. 

But I didn't want clogs then, I want clogs now. I'm feeling nostalgic for my 4th grade clogs. They were the first shoes I ever ordered in the Sears catalog. Seriously. Loved them. Still think of them fondly. I also think about the time in grade school when I kicked Mike Marshall in the shin with my beloved clogs at the bus-stop. I'm pretty sure I made that kid cry, and even though he had it coming, I may have done some permanent damage there. Sorry Mike, hope you aren't still walking with a limp. Clogs are a girls best weapon friend.

Seeing these cute clogs out there in the stores and online, but really, the super cute ones are behind us, and maybe I will learn something from all the lollygagging I've been doing. Get on a trend when it's HOT, definitely more choices available. I do like these though:

Swedish Hasbeen Slip-On $228.95
at Nordstrom
The most traditional

Charles David Picchio Slingback Clog $180.00
at Nordstrom

Eileen Fisher Grip Suede Clog - $265.00
at Neiman Marcus
Kind of awesome for fall.

Gucci - Tess Suede Wooden Platform $850.00
at Saks Fifth Avenue. Duh, who wouldn't want these!

Anything special you're looking for this fall?

I forgot to say....

Only 3 more chemo treatments - I can see the finish line from here and I'm SUPER EXCITED. Once that is finished I get to rest up, then I have surgery (most likely lumpectomy to remove the mass area and margin) followed by some awesome reconstruction that will end with me having awesome new perky boobs! Following a rest from that, I will get some radiation, some additional infusions of Herceptin into the new year, and then I'M DONE!

That's all for the update, I could tell you some of the side effects, but that's just not cute - seriously, you don't really want to know what a mess I am. Oh, but the oncology docs gave me an A+ in chemo - I'm a champ. (Yep, just my style to be an A student!)

For when my hair gets longer

So, there is no getting around the fact that I'm going to have to have some short hair for a while until I get long hair again. The last time I had short hair was around the time of this pic:

I'm the little gal in the shortest hair. Which is longer than my current hair. Ugh.

I had this idea that I would be able to wear my wig until my hair was miraculously long enough to skip the whole short hair stage. But I'm so sick of that thing that I will probably burn the wig as soon as I possibly can. Not that it's not great - it is, it's just freaking HOT and not my own hair, so this time of year it is just the worst and I can't wait to be done with it.

My hair has started to grow back early - before I'm done with chemo, so I have a "tiny head start" (get it), and it's currently about 5/8" long - not that I've measured it, but ok, yes, I've measured it. Oh, and.... to be clear, it's WHITE or mostly white. Look, when you go from coloring your hair for years, to shaving your head off to prepare for a wig, you get a good hard look at the true salt and pepper-ness of it all. And let me tell you, there's a lot more salt than pepper. And interestingly, as it's coming back in, the white seems to come in first, and now the black is showing up too, but it doesn't stand much of a chance - lots more white in there.

Which brings me to the point of this post - what am I going to do with this hair???? - when it's long enough to make into something. And that makes me laugh too - because the styles you are about to see below are all LONG compared to my current hair. That's funny!! hahahahahahhahhahaaaaaa- I think these are pretty cute though and are also white - what do you think? They of course all look like models - which I am not - but I will admit that I have an awesome looking head - compared to others (see above pic - i know - awesome!!!)

Pretty cute look - I still need about an inch or so more for this I think.

2 inches from now? Maybe?

Whoa - a little edgy - we'll see.

Her s/p is quite awesome - maybe I'll shoot for this when it's a lot longer.

This is closest to what it will look like in another 1/2 inch. If I looked like her
I would think "SWEET" - I'm so hot! 

Looking at these pics reminds me that currently I'm still without much in the way of eyebrows or lashes. I'm starting to see the beginnings of eyebrows again, but the eyelashes are a little slower on the comeback. Hurry, you little bastards!!!!!

All short hair pics posted here are from Pinterest!

Overboard?

Seems like with my time away from blogging you might have thought I fell overboard as was lost at sea. Not the case. I just haven't had much enthusiasm for blogging as I've been super busy counting down the days until the end of chemo (which I'm sick of btw). 

Update: The cruise was fine. I'm probably not going to be a future "cruiser" but it was nice for what it was. One thing is for sure, I've seen the future and people - it's OLD! I don't even think my mom at 74 or Kit's parents at 70 are old enough for the crowd on this cruise. Just a LOT of OLD OLD OLD people. 

And a lot of Purell. Turns out the cruise industry is combatting the whole cruise ship sicknesses by squirting the shit out of everyone with Purell at every turn. I think it's working.

We began in Venice and our days were port stops at Korcula (where we stopped last year on our Croatia trip), Heraklion, Crete - not much to see here on this hot rock, then Marmaris, Turkey and Kusadasi, Turkey and then Athens for the finish. We had 3 lovely days in Athens at the end of the trip - while hot, it was breezy and delightful and we had some great meals in open air rooftop restaurants. Lovely! 

Here are a few pics!

So, first things first, we got upgraded to business class - good way to start the journey!

Leaving Venice - beautiful lighting on the way out of the city.

View of our ship from Korcula, Croatia

Yes we did! And often!

 Our beautiful little port of Marmaris, Turkey

This is Kusadasi, Turkey

The library at Ephasus

QE - from another angle!

Athens!

The National Archaeological Museum - photobomb and a big thumbs up!

Kit and Meredith seeing the sites!

 Thanks Greece - lovely to see you!