On Wednesday I went in for my MRI. This is the first step in determining if my cancer is anywhere other than where it's been detected already by my mammo, ultrasound and biopsy. It's not a scary appointment unless you are an emotional wreck (which coincidentally I am!)
I got to SCCA (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) at 11:15 - right on time. I've noticed at SCCA, they are pretty unlike normal doctors offices. They are the most efficient bunch of people ever. No waiting around wondering when they are going to call you, they are ON IT! So, I get in there, get my ID bracelet, fill out some papers, get called back immediately to change clothes in their little changing/locker area.
Then I go into a room with 3 dividers and a couple of nice nurses. Met 2 of them and absolutely have no idea what their names were because I was starting down the path of freaking out. And it's just basically a waiting room with cookies and juice. Holy crap! Get it together lady!
So, turns out, I get an IV put in for this, news to me. Apparently more for me to get nervous about. IV in with no prob - pheww. Chat with nurse, then sit and wait and try not to shake from nervousness. Then spend 5-10 minutes trying not to cry. WHAT? I know, grow up! And this is not even close to a procedure that would require crying, this thing is all about just laying there. So, even though I knew that much, I was still hard pressed not to cry. After a couple of "buck-up self talks", I was ok.
Then I got called into the MRI room. They asked me first what kind of music I wanted. I wasn't prepared, so I said whatever you have on is fine. So they gave me ear plugs because the MRI machine is going to be loud. Then I took off my shoes and hopped up on this contraption. And while you can't get a good idea from the picture, you can guess immediately where your boobs go on this thing. It basically looks like 2 giant cup holders for your "thirsty-two ouncer" or "supertanker" at 7 eleven. So, up I go, tit's in the holders, arms out like superman, headphones on, lame new age country music playing, panic button in hand and a few instructions to NOT MOVE for the next 30-40 minutes, and we're off.
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| This is the contraption, and that's what I was doing. Good times. (ps, no that's not me!!) |
It's pretty noisy - while it takes rapid fire images, bam bam bam bam bam - which I think are sort of like a bunch of cross cuts of your body in a bunch of directions. There are intervals of 1 or 2 or 5 minutes or so, and the tech person checks on me after each time, and gives me ideas of what's next and if it's going to be louder or shaky or hot. About halfway through they give me an injection in the IV that is some sort of thing that makes it easier for them to see my insides. It feels a little tingly at first, but overall not bad at all.
Then it's over. I get off the deal, go back into the nurses area, sit for 15 minutes to make sure I don't have any reaction to the injection, and then I get dressed and get out of there. All in a days doctor visit.
I'm pretty sure that every "new" thing I have to do in the coming weeks will be scary, because I'm just not used to being in a hospital or doctors office - oh, and plus when someone says "you have cancer" - it really is fucking scary - and even if it's just the lightest version of cancer - it's still SUPER FUCKING SCARY. And that's enough about cancer for today.
We're going with friends up to the Teanaway this weekend, so expecting to get outside in the air for some snowshoeing our hiking - and will try to freaking relax. This god-damn cancer thing goes everywhere with me - it's exhausting.
Have a good weekend!
