Plan(e) of Attack

We’re getting all the last minute things done for our Croatia trip – which means finding the fishing pole, getting out the snorkel gear, the water shoes, the motion sick meds, the “whatever elses”  we could possibly need. But first things first – this time – way in advance – I tried really hard to book the best possible seats for the long haul of our trip – which is the leg from Vancouver BC to Frankfurt. This is the plane:

So we are sitting in 35K and 35H. The row with just 2 seats, should be pretty undisturbed, not too close to the snack area or the bathrooms, no touching of other people, just us and only us – well except for the entire planeload of others. I booked similar seats for the trip back too. My only worry, someone will screw it up and we will get to the check in area and our seats won’t be our seats. Then I will have to get all ugly and rude. I really really don’t want seats other than in the side row where there are only 2 seats. And no super fat strangers taking up my personal space. Thank you!

Why I have PTSD about this:  Once on a flight from Rome to Detroit I got seat 2 in a 5 seat row, leaving only the aisle seat available for someone else. The someone else showed up and to my joy was a normal sized person. But, sadly, before I could blink, the normal sized person jumped up and changed seats with someone else so he could sit with his wife and the person who ended up next to me was no less than 400 pounds. NO LESS THAN 400 POUNDS!! And she had a pretty tough time getting into her seat and then proceeded to hang WAY OVER into my seat space, making me have to lean at a 45 degree angle in the other direction for the rest of eternity. In fact, I’m still leaning to the right. Then, this happened: Our flight sat on the runway for 4 whole hours before we even took off – due to a strike of some kind….. thank you Fate, you’re so nice. Before we even left the ground I was already dying of back break-ache. I worked up the nerve to tell the woman that she was making me uncomfortable and asked if she could please move over and that she needed to stay in her space. She said to me, “Well, I ain’t very comfortable neither!” – and that was our entire conversation for the rest of the 10 hour flight. Not awesome! I even went to find a flight attendant to see if I could maybe move seats – thinking there must be something – and what if… dare I dream…. Something in business or first class – ha – “oh, sorry”…. ZERO available. So I then asked, “could you maybe handle this situation, I’m not getting anywhere”, maybe the flight attendant could make sure she isn’t in half my seat, and she said “oh, I’m not allowed to discuss a customer’s weight problem with them, but you are welcome to talk to her about it!” Great, thanks lady! )

So, the moral of the story is to plan way way way ahead, get good seats, don’t share even one armrest – and then hope for the best. Oh, and do all the things that they say you shouldn’t do on the plane, avoid water, drink a thousand cocktails, eat all their food – and wake up in Frankfurt fully hung over, dehydrated and completely jet-lagged. So excited for vacation! (I really am! Not even joking - despite the hassles, I still super excited to go!)