Me vs. Birds - I win!

We have a huge old black walnut tree at the farm. It's awesome, in fact so awesome that we got married under it one time. 

Here's what it does that is also awesome - it makes WALNUTS!!! But, after a number of years I've come to learn a couple of things about what goes on at the farm and around the walnut tree when I'm not looking. 

When the walnuts get ripe (or ready, or whatever) in September, I have a really really little window of opportunity to get outside and get the walnuts before the blue jays (Stellar's Jays) get ALL OF THEM. I don't like these birds very much, and it's mostly because they are super greedy little fuckers and every year take all the walnuts off the tree and off the ground and away to some undisclosed location AND THEY DON'T EVEN EAT THEM! From what I can tell, they only care about the little worms that in the outside husk of the walnut and they don't even eat the walnut. ( I also don't like them because the bully all the other birds at the bird feeder! They suck in so many ways!)

In past years, they have cleaned me out completely! So, now, I watch the tree - looking for action. As soon as the blue jays start getting all peck peck pecky at the walnuts as they start to brown up on the outside - I have to get out there in a hurry and get my share. On Saturday I saw them - three of them - out there starting to get excited. So, on Sunday, while the skies opened up and rained all over me, I spent the morning with the fruit picker reaching for walnuts. I got a bunch - I thought it was nice of me to take all the ground, low hanging and medium high walnuts - and I left the high up ones for the freaking birds. That seems nice - not that the birds would do that for me. I'm just nicer than they are. Assholes!

Oh, and I'm not clear that the fruit picker is the best answer for picking walnuts, but it's all I had. Yay! Walnuts for us!

Last thought: I keep wondering if some day I'll be walking around on the property and stumble upon seven million walnuts - whole - with a sign written in blue jay that says "Suzy - EAT ME!"